Why “Somebody’s Watching Me” by “Rockwell” is the most 80s song of all time (or at least the most 80s song of the 80s)
1. One-hit wonder in a big way. What happened to Rockwell?
2. One-name wonder. Like Sting, Slash, Prince, and Madonna.
3. It’s paranoid.
4. Half-assed rapping integrated into a pop song in the manner of Blondie’s “Rapture” or Murray Head’s “One Night in Bangkok.”
5. Michael Jackson sings on it. The still-black Michael Jackson.
6. It appears in the pilot of Miami Vice.